IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any in-person interaction with others. Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
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 era, we live in a great development and the
technology
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 has taken place in our lives.
However
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,
this
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 improvement has a dark side. These days there is no one can live without the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 but, people try as much as possible to avoid any negativity that the
Internet
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 might cause. No doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
technology
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 has a lot of great advantages. Face-to-face meetings can be affected by
Internet
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communication
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.
This
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 development can be negative and harmful for people
cannot
Correct pronoun usage
who cannot
show examples
 balance. I strongly believe that we cannot dispense
technology
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, but
technology
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 sometimes has a negative aspect.
For example
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: losing interaction with others and lower
communication
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 skills. For me, I have made good
friends
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 through the
internet
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 but that doesn't mean I don't make
friends
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 in person. Meeting people online can extend your knowledge and meet
friends
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 all over the world. Each way of
this
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 has a positive and negative aspect. I believe that trying to make
friends
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 via the
Internet
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 and live without any
communication
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 with reality can destroy your mental health, your
communication
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 skills and your reactions.
To sum up
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, it's all about balance no one can live without the
Internet
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.
However
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, the
Internet
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 cannot separate us from reality and transform us into the digital world.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Try to use topics that are easy to follow.
task achievement
You discussed both sides of the topic, which shows understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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