Some people believe it is beneficial for children to attend graduate school, while others argue that children should be given the freedom to choose their own career? Share your opinion?

People believe it is beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

to attend graduate school,

while

Linking Words

others argue that

children

Use synonyms

should be given the freedom to choose their own

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain my opinion.

Now a days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

, parenting is the most difficult job, because of the unlimited options for raising their

children

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

, the different schools, and the huge amount of sports, and

that

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

explaine

Correct your spelling

explains

why choices

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

are too hard, even for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults. On

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, it is hard for

kids

Use synonyms

to decide whether

going

Wrong verb form

to go to

show examples

graduate school

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or choose their own

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Although

Linking Words

decideing

Correct your spelling

deciding

for

children

Use synonyms

need to train in the first place,

for example

Linking Words

, parents must give

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

multiple

choises

Correct your spelling

choices

choice

during

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

life, as they choose between different simple things like

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

food, clothes,

shoes

Correct word choice

and shoes

show examples

, even if it

is looks

Change the verb form

looks

show examples

easy but

this

Linking Words

is will help them in the future and bigger decisions.

In addition

Linking Words

, schools must give

kids

Use synonyms

responsibility

Correct article usage

the responsibility

show examples

to choose their hobbies ,sports, and even

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

study materials,

this

Linking Words

would help the

children

Use synonyms

Verb problem

apply

show examples

avoid the wrong decision.

To sum up

Linking Words

, my opinion is between

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

the

kids

Use synonyms

their own choice and to

gave

Change the form of the verb

give

show examples

them

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to decide their career and job.

ahwan.m.fSun May 25 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your essay structure needs improvement. Make sure you have clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

task achievement

Try to give more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Proofread your work for spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'decideing' should be 'deciding', and 'there' should be 'their'.

coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words to make your ideas flow better. Words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition' can help connect your thoughts.

task achievement

You have clearly stated your opinion in the introduction, which is a good start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

201 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advanced knowledge
Career opportunities
Networking opportunities
Job satisfaction
Passionate
Independence
Personal growth
Investment of time and money
Successful career
Individual strengths
Interests
Graduate degree

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Some people believe it is beneficial for children to attend graduate school, while others argue that children should be given the freedom to choose their own career? Share your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

n some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think the advantages that the government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern technologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

All companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?