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Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools should teach students not only academic subjects but also life skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that
life
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skills
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 should be taught alongside academic subjects. As children grow older to fully grown adults, it is necessary for them to grow in their knowledge and social cues. It takes children years to construct their views and beliefs of the world around
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 is why it is important to align their academic growth with their
life
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skills
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,
that is
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 what will be discussed in
this
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 essay. One key aspect of the importance of adopting
life
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skills
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 in the curriculum is emotional intelligence.
This
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 is a core skill for us humans to connect and deal with each other, as it allows us to be empathic, welcoming and understanding of our companions.
As it
Correct word choice
It
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 helps to grow
such
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 a critical skill from an early age to grow into a fully intelligent individual who is capable of handling social settings to emotionally bonding with others.
Moreover
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,
life
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skills
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such
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 as time management are very critical for personal growth whether it is to help in schoolwork, hobbies, and personal development. It ensures that individuals are equipped with important
skills
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 that help them navigate and grow as individuals. I am a
full on
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full-on
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 believer that
skills
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 do not come in one day out of the blue, it requires the regressed process of applying to everyday
life
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.
That is
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 why it is necessary to put the seeds of
such
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 incredible
skills
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since
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at
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 a young age. People may disagree since school’s initial focus is academic subjects, but
we
Correct word choice
as we
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 grow as a society
for
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apply
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the need to engrave
life
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skills
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since
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from
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 a young age for multiple factors
such
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 as long hours at schools
give
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gives
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 us the opportunity to educate, and the need to prepare them early on in
life
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. It might be a contentious point, but schools are in need of a change to meet the specific needs of
this
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 century.
To conclude
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,
life
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skills
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 are essential seeds that must be grown since adolescence, which
in
Change preposition
as
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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 will foster an environment where children can grow emotionally and create
the
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apply
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socially intelligent individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are set to face
life
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head on
Add a hyphen
head-on
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start each with a strong topic sentence.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your ideas. This makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer language. Some sentences are a bit hard to follow.
task achievement
You have good main points and support your ideas well with explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion summarize your ideas nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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