IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people say that people learn foreing languages because of to work and to travel. Do you think are there any different reasons to learn foreing language? What is your opinion?

It is widely known that today, many
people
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 are trying to learn foreign
languages
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 for various
reasons
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that the only reason for learning a foreign
language
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 is in order to travel or
work
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 in a foreign country, others say that there are not the only
reasons
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. As far as ı am concerned,
people
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 can learn a foreign
language
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due to
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 different
reasons
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such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 education. First of all, learning another
language
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 because of travel and
work
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 is the most common
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, if we compare them
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
reasons
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. Especially, refugees need it because they are coming from different countries to the host country and they have to
work
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 for their
family
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families
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
people
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 who want to see different places of the world need a foreign
language
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 because they want to use it to talk with the public and learn something from them.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 learn a
language
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 for education because
,
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apply
show examples
 researches in the academy involve different
languages
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 and students have to learn these
languages
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 to read
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 research and understand them.
Also
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, many universities want foreign
language
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, before students start the departments and universities demand some kind of exams to permit their students to start their departments.
To sum up
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,
people
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 can learn another
language
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 because of different
reasons
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. Even if
people
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 assume that the only reason for learning
languages
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 is to
work
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 or to travel, many
people
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 have been learning various
languages
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 because of education.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but make sure to directly state your opinion more strongly, like 'In my opinion, there are many reasons.'
coherence
Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'also' and 'however' to improve flow.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points. For example, mention a specific university or a language that refugees often learn.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of why people learn languages beyond work and travel.
coherence
Your paragraphs have a logical structure, making it easier to follow your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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