IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Traffic
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accidents
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 are a significant concern worldwide, leading to serious consequences
while
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 some argue that imposing strict penalties for driving
offenses
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offences
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 is essential to reduce
such
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accidents
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, others believe that alternative strategies may have effective results. Both
the
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apply
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viewpoints will be discussed in forthcoming paragraphs,
additionally
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 providing personal
opinion
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opinions
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 for the scenario. On the one hand, strict punishments can act as strong discouragement for reckless drivers. People
arе morе
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are more
 likely to follow
traffic
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 rules, if they are fully aware of severe consequences like heavy fines, license suspension and even imprisonment,
for example
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, various nations have seen a significant reduction in road
accidents
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,
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apply
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 after they enforced harsh policies. These strategies can be effective to address major causes of
traffic
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accidents
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, like drunk
deriving
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driving
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, use of gadgets during driving or speeding.
On the other hand
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, some seek better approaches than punishing individuals.
This
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 may include better training for drivers, improved road infrastructure and
the
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apply
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most
Important
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important
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 of all public awareness campaigns . Educating drivers about
results
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the results
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 of dangerous behaviour or
risk taking
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risk-taking
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 stunts can lead to
change
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a change
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 in attitude towards the problem.
Additionally
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, maintaining
noods
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noodles
 can contribute to reducing
accidents
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, if effective use of technology like speed cameras is done by
traffic
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incharges
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charges
in charges
. Campaigns undeniably
plays
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play
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 a significant
mole
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role
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 in
prevention
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the prevention
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 of
such
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 cases. In my opinion,
while
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 harsh penalties are important to
determant
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determine
determinant
 neckless driving, they should not be
only
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the only
show examples
 solution.

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coherence
The introduction needs to clearly outline the two views you will discuss, and ensure the conclusion summarizes your opinion effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to provide supporting examples for each point you make. This will strengthen your arguments and offers depth to your essay.
coherence
Link your paragraphs better by using more transition words. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
content
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have introduced two perspectives, which shows good awareness of the question.
content
Some ideas, like the negative effects of strict punishments, were well expressed. This shows your ability to analyze the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strict punishments
  • driving offenses
  • traffic accidents
  • deterrent
  • penalties
  • driving privileges
  • heavy fines
  • reckless driving
  • responsible behaviors
  • distractions
  • adhering to traffic rules
  • education and awareness programs
  • road safety
  • safe driving practices
  • fear-driven approach
  • road infrastructure
  • traffic management systems
  • well-designed roads
  • clear signage
  • adequate lighting
  • public awareness campaigns
  • attitudes towards driving
  • initiatives
  • promote the message
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