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Writing Samples
Band 5

Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Today it is common to think that a university
degree
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 plays a key role in reaching success and receiving
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high
job
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 qualifications.
However
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, there are a lot of other aspects of being hired in the workplace,
such
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 as personal qualities,
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job
Correct word choice
and job
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experience
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 that outweigh at some point
a
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apply
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theoretical knowledge,
thus
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 I partially agree with
this
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 point of view.
To begin
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 with, in our constantly evolving
world
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, it is important for every employee to know their
job
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 perfectly to show the maximum efficient and highly qualified work performance. A university
degree
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 is an evidence of employee’s literacy and
therefore
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 a lot of employers require it in order to be sure of
qualifications
Correct article usage
the qualifications
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 of their workers. Especially, academic background is
crucial
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especially crucial
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 for professions in medical, engineering and scientific spheres, because they contain moments related to
world
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 development and sustainability of life quality in the
world
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, which makes them demanding professions today.
Moreover
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, the university curriculum provides information that can not be known from free sources, namely the Internet, AI, or other people,
hence
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, individuals who have graduated are more important to employers, because they know much more than simple humans.
In contrast
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, some individuals who have received academic knowledge sometimes lack real-life
experience
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 and professional skills to be useful employees.
That is
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 because some
degree
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 holders spend more time
on
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apply
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acquiring theoretical data than practising in real life their skills.
Furthermore
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, in spheres of business and marketing, academic credentials are not the most important factor in being hired. Usually, employers look at the
experience
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 of an individual in working in a particular environment and at the ability to think critically in certain types of situations. What is more, keeping up with industry trends is
also
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 an important part of a work competition. People who are able to go in hand with the
world
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 state developed are valued more than ones who have only a
degree
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 and academic background. In conclusion, reputable institutions are important to be hired as a
high role
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high-role
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 employee, but they do not provide a guarantee
in
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of
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 reaching
a
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apply
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success as a worker without personal qualities and
experience
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. Being able to balance both aspects is
a
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the
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 right decision in receiving a great
job
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 qualification.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This helps guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. Specific examples help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammar mistakes, like articles and plurals, to improve your overall clarity.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument. This is an important skill in essay writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a good tone.
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