IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

In recent years, a growing number of people have left rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to seek work in cities, leading to significant consequences for both urban and rural communities. One major effect is the decline in agricultural productivity. As farmers move away, fewer people are left to cultivate land, which may lead to food shortages and increased dependency on imports.
Additionally
Linking Words
, rural economies weaken, as local businesses lose customers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cities face overcrowding, rising unemployment, and pressure on infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as housing, transportation and healthcare. Social problems like crime and poverty may
also
Linking Words
 worsen
due to
Linking Words
 urban unemployment. To mitigate the adverse effects of rural-to-urban
migration
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, proactive measures need implementation. Governments
shoulf
Correct your spelling
should
 initiate programmes focusing on improving agricultural technology, infrastructure and
stunning
Correct article usage
the stunning
show examples
 of life there. Investing in rural industries and promoting job creation in smaller towns
instead
Linking Words
 of large cities. Establishing industries in rural
areas
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 would provide employment opportunities, thereby persuading individuals to stay in their
contriside
Correct your spelling
countryside
areas
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 and reducing the urban influx.
Additionally
Linking Words
, financial resources and modern farming technology can boost agricultural efficiency, reducing the need for mass
migration
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. In conclusion, rural-urban
migration
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 harms both agricultural and urban
areas
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.
However
Linking Words
, with proper policies
such
Linking Words
 as rural investment, job creation and education
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
governments can balance development and ensure sustainable growth for all regions. Efforts to strengthen rural economies will not only address the consequences of urban
migration
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 contribute to a more resilient society

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task achievement
Make sure every paragraph supports your main idea more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs to make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Use specific examples or data to support your points more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Addresses both the consequences and solutions effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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