IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that they believe it is important to protect the environment but make no effort to do anything about it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What action do you think individuals should take to protect the environment?

Today, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who know the prominent of protecting the
environment
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 has increased.
However
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, they believe that they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to try themselves about it.
Therefore
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, it is essential to
be investigated
Wrong verb form
investigate
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 the
reasons
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 and solutions.
In addition
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, I think the two main
reasons
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 are related to their characters as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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irresponsible
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 or another reason
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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they are unaware of
this
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 issue. So I believe that the most influential solution should be taken by
governments
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 and by advertising.
On the other hand
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, one of the most important
reasons
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 is some
people
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 are irresponsible,
due to
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 the fact that they believe that, by paying taxes to
governments
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, they do not need to do something to protect the
environment
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 and the planet by themselves.
Also
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, they think it is the responsibility of some special staff
by
Change preposition
to
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amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of their salary which the
governments
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 pay them.
In addition
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, another reason that should be mentioned is
people
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's unawareness.
For instance
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, they do not how are they able to preserve of planet.
Furthermore
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, they do not know about the consequences of their behaviour and how can their activities impact
on
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apply
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the
environment
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 in the long term. So, for the
reasons
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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previously mentioned, The main solution for
this
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 issue is the
governments
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 should encourage
people
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 by some advertising on billboards and on social media to cooperate with them to protect the
environment
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, and if they do it, the
governments
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 will pay some presents and decrease their taxes.
Also
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, they are able to illustrate some TV programs and documentaries
for example
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 "National Geography" to aware
people
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 of some topics about ecosystems, climate change and sustainability to make them more interested. In conclusion, the two main
reasons
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 are
people
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's irresponsibility and
people
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's unawareness about the consequences of
this
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 issue.
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At
Change the preposition
In
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 the end, the main solution for these
reasons
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 in my opinion is, the
governments
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 should show some documentaries and TV programs, not only to
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
 them
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 to
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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 them by increasing the taxes.
Due to
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 the fact that
this
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 way will help all
people
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 in the future.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main points and is connected to your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
Task Achievement
You identify important reasons for people's lack of action on environmental issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion nicely wraps up your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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