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First of all , in the

graph

Add a comma

graph,

show examples

we can see that the number of participants in the Firm club section is higher than the others and, we can say it is in constant mode

Remove the comma

apply

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because the number never becomes below 60.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there is a huge difference in Table tennis between 2000 and 2020

this

Linking Words

is shown nowadays how people love playing it .

Also

Linking Words

, we can consider that Musical performances started their development in 2005 until 2020, and

this

Linking Words

is totally different from Amateur dramatical as we saw in the graph it becomes lower than the starting point. Back to Martial

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

, the graph shows the state is not constant 100% , but the starting and ending points are the same

anoud.abukhTue May 27 2025

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introduction

Make sure to clearly introduce your topic and give a brief overview of what you will discuss. This helps guide the reader.

cohesion

Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help your ideas flow better.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes it clearer.

content

You have made some good observations about the data presented in the graph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

123 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that they are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and long term?