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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featurews and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featurews and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
proportation
Correct your spelling
proportion
proposition
 of the people in the United Kingdom who
eaten
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 healthy food during the period from 2002, 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 glance
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the graph reveals some striking , the child were
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 lowest fractions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the chart ,
while
Linking Words
women's
Change preposition
women in
show examples
 the UK
has taken
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest numbers of consumption
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , in 2002 , the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Men's
Change preposition
Men in
show examples
 the
uk were as
Correct your spelling
UK was
 double
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
to reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
 around
fifth
Correct your spelling
fifty
show examples
 per cent ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of women
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the higher
poin
Correct your spelling
point
points
 to
accounted
Replace the word
account
show examples
 for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exactly a quarter.
Likewise
Linking Words
 , by 2006 , the rate of women
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly increase to hit the highest point
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
throughout
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
, at 32% .
In addition
Linking Words
 , the figure of men and children
roses
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 to reaching
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
28 % and 16 % respectively. In 2010, the
consumer
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of mela
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined slowly ,
also
Linking Words
 the
consumer
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 decreased
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 14 % .

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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