Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, people argue
weither
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whether
or not the Internet and the computer are crucial in
this
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generation's education.
This
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assay
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essay
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will
disscus
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discuss
both perspectives before concluding with my opinion. On one hand, those who support the importance of technology studies in general argue that it will be less time-consuming considering the wide range of resources.
furthermore
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, technology is the new future in all fields.
For example
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, AI
usages
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usage
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exceeded
the
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apply
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expectations these days, since we use AI in almost everything.
Such
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as
,
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apply
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cars.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the
old-ways
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old ways
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of education claim that teacher gives
better
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a better
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chance of delivering the
informations
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information
pieces of information
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that the students
needs
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need
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.
Furthermore
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, they state that
because
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apply
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it
also
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build
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builds
show examples
communaction
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communication
skills for them when they get older, which leads to better education
systim
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systems
in the future. A good illustration of
this
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is
Harverd
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Harvard
University where their
professers
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professors
and their students have better
acadmic
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academic
careers
due to
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the connection they made throughout their time
their
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there
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. In conclusion, both sides offer valid points.
However
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, I personally believe that including technology studies would be
benifical
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beneficial
because
how
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of how
show examples
efficient it can be.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. This will help readers know what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help organize your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid spelling mistakes, like 'assay' instead of 'essay' and 'disscus' instead of 'discuss'. This will make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided examples related to the main points, which helps support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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