Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say that it is beneficial for
shool
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school
show examples
children to participate in
cometitive
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competitive
sports
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from the point of view of education
whereas
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others believe that it has negative impacts on them.
Although
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there are some negative aspects of competing in
sports
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, I
belive
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believe
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that the benefits are more significant to
educate
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educating
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school children than the drawbacks,
espeially
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especially
when it comes to playing
sports
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as a team. Competitive
sports
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can be
derimental
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detrimental
mentally and physically for teenagers and it might cause some negative results.
This
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is because the excess motivation towards
triumphs
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triumph
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can lead young people to force themselves to practice harder, resulting in hurting themselves without
notcing
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noticing
it.
For example
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,
according to
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NHK
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the NHK
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
programme broadcast in 2010, 80% of
highschoolers
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high schoolers
show examples
who belonged to soccer or baseball teams have experienced
of
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apply
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anxiety and depression
as well as
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arthritis.
However
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,
this
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can be mitigated if their mentors and coaches can instil a method of controlling their emotions and offer
a
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apply
show examples
physical and mental care to them. Turning to some of the upsides to
cometition
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competition
in
sports
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, we can see a great number of benefits in that kind of
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. One of
good
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the good
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examples is that it can enhance a sense of
comaraderie
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camaraderie
within a team.
That is
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to say, the feeling of
winnning
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winning
against the opposite team can make teammates cooperate together and create a
sronger
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stronger
bond between them.
This
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could
also
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improve
their
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the
show examples
performance of each member,
leadning
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leading
the possibility of winning to become more realistic. In Japan, most of the
highschools
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high schools
show examples
actually have some competitive
sports
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such
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as basketball and baseball in PE classes.
This
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provides
Verb problem
allows
show examples
Japanese teenagers to learn about how essential to cooperate
each
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with each
show examples
other is to win a game in
sports
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. In conclusion, it is argued that
if
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apply
show examples
we should have competitive
sports
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in school for the youth in terms of
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
. Even though there are some downsides to them, I believe that the upsides to that kind of
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
should contribute positively to the
school
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school's
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education.

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task achievement
Ensure to give clearer examples and explanations to support your points. This can improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar before finalizing your essay. This will help your ideas come across more clearly.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion in your essay, which is important for a good score.
task achievement
The discussion of competitive sports' benefits shows understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
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