IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of children doing regular physical activity in the UK and the world average in 2018. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of children doing regular physical activity in the UK and the world average in 2018. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the graph illustrates the rate of
Boy
Fix the agreement mistake
Boys
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, Girls
Correct your spelling
and girls
 and the global average
on
Change preposition
of
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bodies
Change the noun form
body
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activity
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
overall
Linking Words
, the rate of boys
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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actived
Correct your spelling
acted
 physically
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
significant
Change the word
significantly
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 drop,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the number of
gils
Correct your spelling
girls
 who
actived
Correct your spelling
acted
 declined modestly,
while
Linking Words
 the world Average
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuations.
firstly
Linking Words
, as can be seen ,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 6-8 years old younger
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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was
Verb problem
did
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 the majority of physical
activity
Use synonyms
 accounting for nearly 100%, yet the minority of
Actived
Correct your spelling
Active
 boys was
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12-18 years old.
secondly
Linking Words
,
younge
Correct your spelling
young
 females
whice
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who
 did movement by
body
Add an article
the body
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 the most were in the group 3-5 about over 80% compared with over 60% of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 average
in
Change preposition
for
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 the same
age
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the lowest amount of girls in active
activity
Use synonyms
 was in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
an age
show examples
 of 16-18 approximately above 40%, followed by different countries physical
activity
Use synonyms
 around nearly 60% in the same
age
Use synonyms
 group. in conclusion, body exercise by children in
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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 and all around the world were drop almost the same rate within 15 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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