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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the percentage of children doing regular physical activity in the UK and the world average in 2018. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of children doing regular physical activity in the UK and the world average in 2018. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided chart compares children in the UK with the world average for physical activities in 2018. It is evident from the chart that different
age
Use synonyms
 groups and genders are included in the study. In 2018,
boys
Use synonyms
 in two
age
Use synonyms
 groups had the highest percentages among their peers, ranging from approximately 85 to 95 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
girls
Use synonyms
 at around 80-85%, indicating that both
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 were above the average in the UK.
However
Linking Words
, children aged 9-11, regardless of gender, fell below the world average, which was close to 85 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the remaining
age
Use synonyms
 groups showed similar figures, with slight differences amongst them, ranging from 40 to 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, the average was around 60%, with
girls
Use synonyms
 at approximately 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and
boys
Use synonyms
 at 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for each
age
Use synonyms
 group.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the percentage of
boys
Use synonyms
 was above 80% until they turned 9,
then
Linking Words
 there was a sharp decrease to approximately 40%. And
girls
Use synonyms
 had almost the same attitude. But the average percentage of children around the world
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 fluctuated.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, boys, cent, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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