It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do u think the advantage of taking risk outweighs the disadvantages.

Taking risks in

life

Use synonyms

can open

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

opportunities for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

.happy

life

Use synonyms

significant not

depent

Correct your spelling

dependent

in have

Change preposition

on having

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

better career or

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

traditional marriage.in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss

this

Linking Words

argumant aabout

Correct your spelling

argument about

the

takeing

Correct your spelling

taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

can enhance

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

it is

also

Linking Words

considered healthy for

Add an article

the individual

an individual

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

. Taking risks can lead to new opportunities in careers ,

such

Linking Words

as promotions

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

starting a new business or

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

in different countries without your parents or

sibling

Fix the agreement mistake

siblings

show examples

This

Linking Words

can help people grow and learn valuable skills.For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

or trying new hobbies can create wonderful memories and

bulid

Correct your spelling

build

confidence.it is

Replace the word

too

show examples

important to be strong to take

this

Linking Words

advantage

.some

Correct your spelling

Some

people

deign

Correct your spelling

design

show examples

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

lifestyle boring because they think it is

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

and make their children

likewise

Linking Words

. Facing fears through risk can help individuals become stronger and

smart

Correct word choice

smarter

show examples

.Overcoming challenges can teach important lessons about

life

Use synonyms

furthermore

Linking Words

, Housing in

different

Correct article usage

a different

show examples

city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

show examples

without your family some people say

this

Linking Words

advantage

Add an article

an advantage

show examples

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

areb

Correct your spelling

our

countries because they have

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

style in their

life

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

,some employees can

dealing

Change the verb form

deal

be dealing

show examples

with

Correct article usage

the superviser

show examples

superviser

Correct your spelling

supervisor

because they do not take

sufficcient

Correct your spelling

sufficient

responsility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

with managers.

Finally

Linking Words

, if you want success in your

life

Use synonyms

take

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

to be

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

version of yourself.

aghareed22alshehriWed May 28 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion to help guide the reader through your points.

task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and examples to support it more thoroughly.

coherence and cohesion

Use accurate spelling and grammar to make your writing clearer and easier to read.

task achievement

You have good ideas about taking risks and how they can lead to new opportunities and personal growth.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

193 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

advantage
disadvantage
important
risk
opportunity
career
personal
growth
happiness
travel
hobby
memory
confidence
fear
strong
resilient
challenge
failure
loss
experience
negative

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