IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

There is an ongoing debate whether boys and girls should learn in separate
schools
Use synonyms
 or not.
While
Linking Words
 some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that multi-sex
schools
Use synonyms
 will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 students
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both genders experience real-world socialization,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
critics argue that single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
 will reduce
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gender
sterotypes
Correct your spelling
stereotypes
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why I feel that both genders
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be taught in one school will help students sense the equality in their genders. Those who prioritise multi-sex
schools
Use synonyms
 argue that if males and females are learning together, they can enhance their real-life experience.
In other words
Linking Words
, when those boys come to the real world, they will meet some female co-workers so if they did not work with girls at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age, they would not know how to work with female co-workers at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 older age. Le Thanh Tong
high
Capitalize word
High
show examples
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
 in Vietnam,
for example
Linking Words
, that school force the boys to stay away from the girls, particularly in lessons. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, most students in
this
Linking Words
 school
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
struggle to interact with
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 gender when they reach
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic right away.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly. Use transitional words to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide more examples to support your points, especially examples from real life or studies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling to improve the clarity of your writing and ensure accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
You provide a real example from a school to support your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-sex schools
  • mixed-gender education
  • gender-specific teaching techniques
  • stereotypes
  • real-world preparation
  • distraction-free environment
  • holistic development
  • social integration
  • interpersonal skills
  • collaborative learning
What to do next:
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