IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

it is some time said that people should be encoraged to get married before they are 30 as this is the best for the individual and the society to what extend do you agree or disagree

In the modern
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that individuals should get married before the
age
Use synonyms
 of 30, as
this
Linking Words
 is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
good for the masses and society. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because before 30 is the best
age
Use synonyms
 to marry and they can find a good soul easily.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand, before
the 30-year
Correct your spelling
30 years
age
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 should get married because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 time they can find the best partner for their
life
Use synonyms
 and they have one close person to their soul
both
Use synonyms
 can enjoy their happiness and discuss the problems
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they have so
both
Use synonyms
 can easily solve the problem of each other after marrying in young
age
Use synonyms
.
As they
Correct word choice
They
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 raise their family at a perfect
age
Use synonyms
 and it is easy to get children in good health.
The oxford
Correct article usage
Oxford
show examples
 university conducted a survey in 2022
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
 which masses
get
Correct pronoun usage
who get
show examples
 married before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thirty they are
happiest
Correct article usage
the happiest
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 and healthiest
people
Use synonyms
 in society as compared to
after
Correct pronoun usage
those after
show examples
 30 who do marriage.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Persons
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 busy in their running
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 they have only one aim to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
 before 30. So many of them do not marry till the
age
Use synonyms
 of 30 because before
this
Linking Words
 time
people
Use synonyms
 can do hard work for their
life
Use synonyms
 to have an easy
life
Use synonyms
 after 30 years.
As well as
Linking Words
 they have set their mind like that first they will be successful in their
life
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 they will get married. The major demerit of late marriage is that husband and wife
both
Use synonyms
 have a problem getting
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
 in old
age
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I
am agreeing
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 to
do marriage
Verb problem
marry
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 rather than marry after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success because in my way if
both
Use synonyms
 are doing hard work and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money they can
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 more successful in their
life
Use synonyms
 rather than single doing and thinking about success.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports that idea with examples. This will improve the structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and clear.
task response
Clarify your main argument early in your introduction and restate it in your conclusion.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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