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Band 6

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The bar chart illustrates the worldwide
sales
Use synonyms
 figures (in billions of dollars) for
game
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
, CDs, and DVDs or videos between 2000 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, CDs
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
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 their highest
sales
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 in 2000 and
then
Linking Words
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to decrease over the four years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, both
game
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software
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 and
DVD
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/video
sales
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 saw consistent growth, with DVDs almost equally
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2003 to CDs . In 2000, CD
sales
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Add a missing verb
were approximtly
show examples
approximtly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 $35
billion
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, significantly higher than
DVD
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/video and games
software
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, which were under $20
billion
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 and around $15
billion
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, respectively. Over the next three years, CD
sales
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started
Add the particle
started to
show examples
 decrease
untill
Correct your spelling
until
arrive
Wrong verb form
arrived
show examples
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 $ 30
billion
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 by 2003. The
sales
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 of
game
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software
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expands
Change the verb form
expand
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 by years , reaching nearly $15
billion
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 by the end of the period.
DVD
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/video
sales
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 have similar growth,
excueed
Correct your spelling
excused
exceed
executed
game
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software
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sales
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 in 2003 with close to $35
billion
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. By 2003, the gap between CD and
DVD
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
was
show examples
 significantly close to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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, at the same time, the gap between
game
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 and the two categories
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 $15
billoin
Correct your spelling
billion
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, game, software, dvd, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trends
  • global sales
  • media types
  • software
  • significant increase
  • decline
  • popularity
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • peak sales
  • growth rates
  • fluctuations
  • digital technology
  • traditional media
  • digital downloads
  • streaming services
  • consumer habits
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