IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It has been known that the use of automobiles contributes to environmental harm; however, the number of car-making industries and he frequency of driving are still on the climb. What are the reasons and how to reverse this trend?

In the
last
Linking Words
 20
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 people have become more prone to own cars than before. That leads to
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
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 the companies to produce more cars
although
Linking Words
, the negative effect of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon on the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In the coming
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss the causes and the solutions for
this
Linking Words
 trend.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
, the fast pace
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
form
Change the verb form
forms
show examples
 the most common cause. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 everything in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 speed and urgency to the
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
 that they don't notice the day
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 finished.
For example
Linking Words
, people do not prefer to use public transportation anymore
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they spend more time than when they use
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 automobile .
Secondly
Linking Words
, and
as a result
Linking Words
 of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 desire to buy
vehicles
Add a comma
vehicles,
show examples
 the industries
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from
this
Linking Words
 trend.
In particular
Linking Words
, when more cars
produced
Add a missing verb
are produced
show examples
 and
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
 the profit of the companies will increase.
For example
Linking Words
, Toyota's profit range is 25000 billion per year. To get
ride
Correct your spelling
rid
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should offer
eductional
Correct your spelling
educational
coarses
Correct your spelling
courses
 about the air pollution from vehicles and how it affects our health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 the
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 to use buses and trains most of the time and how
poitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 the effect on decreasing pollution.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some jobs can be from home and
this
Linking Words
 change will reduce
automobiles
Change the noun form
automobile
show examples
 consumption. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, jobs like graphic design, IT, and data entry can work from home.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,
automobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
automobile
show examples
 buying expansion
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 major damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the individual's mental and physical health and the cons are more than
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 pros.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the main points you will discuss.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence
Use more connecting words and phrases (like 'firstly', 'for example', 'however') to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present relevant reasons and solutions.
task achievement
Your examples are real and connect to the points you've made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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