IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish

As we know, developing countries are producing increasing numbers of working professionals in many areas and among them, doctors and engineers are considered some of the most valuable assets to the
country
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. Some
people
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 have views that these workers should remain and contribute their
work
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 in the
country
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 where they were trained,
while
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 others argue that the collectives should be given the freedom to choose to
work
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 in different parts of the world. In my opinion, these
people
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 have the
rights
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right
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 to decide where they want to
work
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. First and foremost, having professionals to serve in the
country
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 is certainly crucial to the advancement of the
country
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. Medical, health, and
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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 are major sectors which make significant
contribution
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contributions
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 to the economy of the nation. A stable economy and
high quality
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high-quality
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 services,
for example
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, in hospitals will help the
country
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 to gain global recognition.
In addition
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, the
country
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 will face
workers shortage
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worker shortages
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 in important
field
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fields
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 if
high
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a high
the high
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 number of trainees leave the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that those young
people
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 should be free to choose to pursue their career in another
country
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.
This
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 is because
career
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the career
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 path is the individual’s personal choice. There are many different reasons why
people
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 in their early
20’s
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20s
 decide to embark
their
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on their
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 journey globally. One of the reasons
are
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is
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,
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apply
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 strong
interests
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interest
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 in exploring other countries
while
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 working especially, those who
wants
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want
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 to build strong connections with
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
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 community and
seeking for
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seek
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 knowledge of the world.
Morover
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Moreover
, gaining professional experience from a different
country
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 will increase their demand for other jobs in future.
Foreign
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The foreign
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work
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 environment is more challenging
that
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than that
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 of our own
country
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 because they will be forced to step out of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
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 zone in an unfamiliar place, thereby broadening
Correct article usage
the neccesary
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neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 skills required in the field of
work
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 making them better candidates for challenging roles in the future.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, it is important to allow young professionals to make independent choices in careers for their own development. In conclusion, even though working in own
country
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 has its own positive contribution to the
overall
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 growth and advancement of the nation, the choice of whether to gain professional experience in their own
country
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 or
worlwide
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worldwide
 should be in the individuals’
hand
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hands
show examples
.

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task achievement
Try to clearly state your main points and ideas with more examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas smoothly throughout the essay for better flow.
general
Check your grammar and spelling, as there are a few mistakes that could confuse readers.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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