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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe social media is very important in our daily life, other believe it is waste of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

It is argued that using social media platforms daily is crucial,
while
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 others think it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time.
While
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 being connected to the universe's events is vital, staying active for long hours on phones can be a huge distraction which can affect humans badly to secure a promising future.
This
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 essay will discuss both views
as well as
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it clears
Wrong verb form
clarify
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 my perspective. On the one hand, having diverse apps is essential when it comes to
be
Change the verb form
being
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 connected with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world events.
Furthermore
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, through these online websites, people can stay up to date with important latest news
such
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 as election
procces
Correct your spelling
processes
.
Additionally
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, locals can figure out everything
that is
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 happening in the country.
For instance
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, a year ago, my father had purchased a house after he knew through
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
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 that banks reduced the profit rates for
martgages
Correct your spelling
mortgages
mortgage
.
Hence
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, he got a great deal, which helped him tremendously
through
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throughout
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 his life.
On the other hand
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,
overusage
Correct your spelling
over usage
 of the
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 can distract people from achieving their dreams.
Thus
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, males and females must strike a balance in terms of using their devices.
Moreover
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, these websites are
addidctive
Correct your spelling
addictive
 which hinders some students
to study
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from studying
show examples
 effectively.
For example
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, my brother
have
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has
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 been playing excessively on his
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
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 for the
last
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of
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apply
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three years of his college time.
As a result
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, currently, he cannot find a job or open a business
due to
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 his addiction to online games. In my opinion, social media can be significantly useful if men know how to use them well with devoted hours.
Also
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, being aware of news enables individuals to take
the
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apply
show examples
advantage of certain opportunities.
To sum up
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, new virtual applications play a
substanial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 role in following what is going on exactly on
this
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 planet.
In addition
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, balancing the time to utilize these apps must be a
a
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apply
show examples
priority.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader know what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'finally' to help structure your paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to support your points with more examples and details for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and aligns with your opinion.
content
You provided a clear discussion of both views regarding social media.
content
Your examples were personal and relevant, which engages readers.
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