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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that close relatives can provide the best care to
children
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while
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 their
parents
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 are at work.
While
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 others argue that specialized institutes are much better at looking after younger
children
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. Even though family members are keen to devote their time and energy to babysitting, professional institutes provide better
overall
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 services which are geared towards specific age groups. I agree with the latter point of view
due to
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this
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 reason. On the one hand, several
parents
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 who are employed full-time tend to leave their
children
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 with grandparents or siblings as
this
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 is most convenient for them.
Also
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, it is easier for the young ones to adjust since they are already familiar with the house and environment.
Additionally
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, there is already an established trust between the
parents
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 and the persons looking after the
children
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.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted by a parent’s magazine showed that 65% of working mothers preferred their immediate family to provide care
while
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 they were at work.
On the other hand
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, daycares are a better option as most of their staff are trained professionals. Many of their employees have extensive experience,
while
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also
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 having degrees relating to child development.
Moreover
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,
such
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 associations have a focused approach towards nurturing kids and ensuring that a homogenous environment is available for all.
For instance
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, a recent study estimated that approximately 34% of prospects expecting to gain employment as a Montessori teacher, most institutes will demand that an individual be properly trained and, in some cases, they
also
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 require a relevant qualification to supplement the experience. These factors can be considered when deciding in favour of child-care centres. In conclusion,
parents
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 will continue the practice of leaving their
children
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 under the supervision of their families.
However
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, with the advancement in early childhood development education and with the advent of newer methods of teaching, I am of the opinion that the services offered by professionals surpass those of unqualified family members.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states both views before presenting your opinion. This will help in setting up the discussion better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more clearly. This will make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have effective examples that support your points well, adding strength to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured educational environment
  • early childhood education
  • stimulating activities
  • cognitive and social development
  • peer interaction
  • social skills
  • fostering independence
  • personalized and emotionally supportive environment
  • sense of security
  • emotional well-being
  • wealth of life experience
  • cultural values and traditions
  • enriching upbringing
  • familiar environment
  • structured activities
  • social interaction
  • hybrid approach
  • well-rounded experience
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