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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given pie charts illustrate the
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of
both
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consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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energy
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 and
electricity
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generation
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 in
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
 world in
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of gas, coal and oil made up a majority in
both
Use synonyms
 charts.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 was
Correct article usage
a minior
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minior
Correct your spelling
minor
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 at
both
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,
while
Linking Words
comsustible
Correct your spelling
combustible
 renewable and waste just appeared in
energy
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consumption
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. Regarding to 3 categories
where
Correct word choice
that
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 have the highest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
both
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energy
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 and
electricity
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 sides. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of oil,
it
Change the pronoun
its
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consumption
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 made up over 34% which was the most
in
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
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consumption
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 side and
also
Linking Words
 6 times more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 in
electricity
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generation
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there is
Correct article usage
a unchange
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unchange
Correct your spelling
change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 gas
in
Change preposition
on
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both
Use synonyms
 sides,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
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 coal
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
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 accounted for nearly 40% and
as
Correct your spelling
was
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 double
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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in
Change preposition
apply
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consuming
energy
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. Taking a look
to
Change preposition
at
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 the remaining categories which is lower adaption.
while
Linking Words
 in
electricity
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generation
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, there is not any
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
cumbustible
Correct your spelling
combustible
 renewable and waste, it was made up 10% in the consuming of
energy
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. In
Correct your spelling
addition
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, all
of
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apply
show examples
hydro, nuclear and other in
electricity
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generation
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 had a large disparity and
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
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 more than it in
energy
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consumption
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, both, energy, electricity, generation, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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