IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

The most
Correct article usage
Most
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals ignore
school
Use synonyms
 with
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 attitude towards learning. There are varied reasons associated with
this
Linking Words
 trend. Those required certain steps to
crub
Correct your spelling
curb
scrub
 it. I will enunciate in upcoming
paragarphs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
. As far as the causes behind
this
Linking Words
distrubing
Correct your spelling
disturbing
 trend are
concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
, the
predominent
Correct your spelling
predominant
 one is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of accurate resources in public schools.
Resulting
Wrong verb form
This results
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to
Change preposition
in
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 some students are not able to
grab
Verb problem
grasp
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 the
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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, because of
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. Another noteworthy reason is
absence
Add an article
the absence
an absence
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 of
one to one
Add a hyphen
one-to-one
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 interaction
to
Change preposition
with
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 the learners in order to clarify their academic doubts. which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
Linking Words
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a
doubtfull
Correct your spelling
doubtful
 point in their mind.
Also
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, deficiency of good
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
 education among the teachers . because in many primary
Use synonyms
school's
Change noun form
schools
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 teachers are not
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 educated so they
can
Rephrase
cannot
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 provide the best knowledge to tutees.
Lastly
Linking Words
 , tutors are unable to understand the
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 because of
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
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 of experience.
Further
Linking Words
 reinforcing
on
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apply
show examples
solutions
of
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to
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 learning ,
school
Use synonyms
 administration should provide appropriate
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
 to learners so they can get knowledge in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 manner. On top of it , education providers must give individual supervision to all students so they can clear their doubts in
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, academic institutes should hire
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
 staff so they can enhance the education level of the
school
Use synonyms
 by providing better knowledge .
Last
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 but not least,
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
 must have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 ability to understand the
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 of children to strengthen their weak areas for their better future endeavours. To
recaptitulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would reckon that educational institutes should adopt
sagacious
Correct article usage
a sagacious
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approrach
Correct your spelling
approach
 towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning by taking
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 of the place into consideration in order to gain holistic growth with
resplendent
Add an article
a resplendent
the resplendent
show examples
 walk of life.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states the topics you will discuss. Use simple sentences to make it clear.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your ideas stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer and correct grammar. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
content
You identified important reasons why young people have negative attitudes towards learning.
structure
Your essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • holistic understanding
  • irrelevant
  • disengage
  • supportive learning environment
  • undiganosed issues
  • frustration
  • aversion
  • peer pressure
  • stigma
  • academically inclined
  • non-academic peers
  • digital age
  • over-reliance
  • instant gratification
What to do next:
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