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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
That
people
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 learn about the
news
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 from around the world using the internet more than traditional
sources
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 is a positive development because
articles
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 can be published faster,
people
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 can shape their
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 using a vast variety of
sources
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 and
information
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 is more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 as well.
Body paragraph 1
Using the possibilities of the internet,
news
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 can be quicker released. There is no need to wait until the next morning when the newspaper is printed or until the
news
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 programme is shown in the evening.
Articles
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 can be written right after the situation
occured
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occurs
 and be put online immediately, by the journalists themselves.
This
Linking Words
 is useful to stay up to date in
time critical
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time-critical
show examples
 situations, when
information
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 is released every minute.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if the first-hand
information
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was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 wrong, the article can be easily altered with a few clicks.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are able to get a better opinion on a matter as they are able to use more
sources
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. They can look for alternatives to the standard, often state-funded, newspaper or TV companies. If a diverse range of
sources
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 is available, one can see all angles of a problem.
This
Linking Words
 is especially helpful in countries where media outlets are strictly controlled by the government,
such
Linking Words
 as Turkey or Hungary.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
,
news
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articles
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 become more accessible. There is no need to pay for a physical copy of a newspaper anymore as
articles
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 are often published for free on the
companys'
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company's
show examples
 websites, where money is generated through
advertisments
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advertisements
advertisement
instead
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 is helpful for
people
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that
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who
show examples
 struggle financially.
Further
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, websites can be altered to
people
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's needs. They can be translated with a click, which is helpful for immigrants
that
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who
show examples
 struggle with the country's language.
Likewise
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, for visually
imapired
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impaired
 or elderly
people
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, it is
benefical
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beneficial
 that the font size can be enlarged and a higher contrast be set.
Conclusion
In conclusion, using the internet to receive
news
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 is a positive development as new
articles
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 can be published faster and journalists can add or delete
information
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 later on.
As well as
Linking Words
 for
people
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 from states with limited press freedom, it is easier to obtain
information
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, that the government might have restricted.
Additionally
Linking Words
, individuals can alter the website with the
news
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 to their needs, translating it or changing
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 appearance, making it more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 for them.

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task achievement
Make sure to include clearer examples to support each point you make. For example, when discussing accessibility, mention specific websites or tools that help.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words to guide the reader through your arguments better.
task achievement
You clearly state your main idea and support it well throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, summarizing your opinion effectively.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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