IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think moves should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most of the
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that watching
films
Use synonyms
 should be for their part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, some
are think
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 it is
also
Linking Words
 good for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 as
wel
Correct your spelling
well
 as others think it is important for their
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
be eloborate
Verb problem
explain
show examples
 that
films
Use synonyms
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
 for
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
while
Linking Words
 selecting their purpose. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 industry has done a
tremendus
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 task for
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 activities positively and it become happy for their
life
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, humans
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
day
Correct your spelling
everyday
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 could be
more free
Replace the words
freer
show examples
while
Linking Words
 watching movies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important for
avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
Use synonyms
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
stresses
.
For example
Linking Words
, most of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to watch thrilling
films
Use synonyms
 like Mr.Bean.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we must think before watching some
films
Use synonyms
, because that content is not good for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 studies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 watching some
cartton caractors
Correct your spelling
cartoon characters
 has to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their thinking habit and
theirefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 the future generation would be not
qulity
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
ones. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, some educational
films
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
documenteries
Correct your spelling
documentaries
, would
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to improve
pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
show examples
 quality and good study
knowldge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
beleve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 industry should
be include
Change the verb form
include
show examples
 many
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 values
further
Linking Words
.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state both views. Try to rewrite it to be clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each idea. This will help in organizing your essay better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning educational films like documentaries.
task achievement
You have made some good points about the use of films for relaxation.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, which is a positive aspect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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