Some people think moves should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most of the
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that watching
films
Use synonyms
should be for their part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, some
are think
Change the verb form
think
show examples
it is
also
Linking Words
good for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
as
wel
Correct your spelling
well
as others think it is important for their
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will
be eloborate
Verb problem
explain
show examples
that
films
Use synonyms
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
for
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
while
Linking Words
selecting their purpose. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
industry has done a
tremendus
Correct your spelling
tremendous
task for
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
activities positively and it become happy for their
life
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
as, humans
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
day
Correct your spelling
everyday
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
could be
more free
Replace the words
freer
show examples
while
Linking Words
watching movies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
important for
avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
show examples
their
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
Use synonyms
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
stresses
.
For example
Linking Words
, most of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to watch thrilling
films
Use synonyms
like Mr.Bean.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we must think before watching some
films
Use synonyms
, because that content is not good for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
studies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
watching some
cartton caractors
Correct your spelling
cartoon characters
has to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
their thinking habit and
theirefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
the future generation would be not
qulity
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
ones. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, some educational
films
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as
documenteries
Correct your spelling
documentaries
, would
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to improve
pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
show examples
quality and good study
knowldge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
beleve
Correct your spelling
believe
that
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
industry should
be include
Change the verb form
include
show examples
many
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
values
further
Linking Words
.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state both views. Try to rewrite it to be clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each idea. This will help in organizing your essay better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning educational films like documentaries.
task achievement
You have made some good points about the use of films for relaxation.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, which is a positive aspect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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