IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the 21st century, the growing salary gap between
directors
Use synonyms
 and ordinary staff has sparked a heated debate.
This
Linking Words
 essay will clarify some justifications for
high
Correct article usage
the high
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salaries
Use synonyms
 of
directors
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 and unfairness among
employees
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 before giving my own perspective on
this
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 matter. On the one hand, large corporations are paying exceptionally high
salaries
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 for their
directors
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 because of the great amount of responsibilities they bear. They are accountable for the
overall
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 performance of the organization, which involves making critical decisions that can affect thousands of
employees
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.
In addition
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, their decision often
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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financial success or failure, justifying their higher pay. Another argument for high
salaries
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 for
directors
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 is that they possess specialized
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and experience that are crucial for leading large corporates. The demand for competent leaders who can navigate complex
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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 is high, compensating them well can be seen as an investment in the company's future success.
On the other hand
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, excessive compensation for
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
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 could lead to the misallocation of the resources within one enterprise, as
such
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 these funds should be used to improve
employees
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'
salaries
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, benefits and working conditions rather than funneled into the pockets of
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 individuals.
This
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 creates a
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
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 disparity, making average
employees
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 feel undervalued or mistreated, breeding severe social unrest.
For example
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, there are
frequently
Change the adverb
frequent
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 protests
of
Change preposition
among
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employees
Use synonyms
 in various companies
due to
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 the unfair payment between leaders and staff, disrupting
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 operations of the company and lowering the whole organization's productivity. In conclusion,
while
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 it is reasonable to pay the
directors
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 higher
salaries
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 owing to their responsibilities and skills, there should be limits on how much they are compensated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relation to the average employee's salary.
Hence
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, large corporations should consider implementing a fairer pay ratio to address the concerns about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inequality and promote a more motivated workforce.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main points with more details. Use examples to support your ideas and show how they are connected.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs better. This will help your essay flow smoothly and be easier to follow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and gives your opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compensation
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • specialized skills
  • investment
  • income disparity
  • undervalued
  • demotivated
  • excessive compensation
  • misallocation of resources
  • pay ratio
  • motivated workforce
  • financial success
  • performance
  • contribute
What to do next:
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