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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use word life when water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mail features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use word life when water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the mail features and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided line graph illustrates global
water
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 usage for three different purposes: agriculture, industrial
use
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, and domestic
use
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. The accompanying table shows
water
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 consumption statistics for
Brazil
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 and
Congo
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 in the year 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, agriculture accounted for the largest proportion of global
water
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use
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,
while
Linking Words
 domestic
use
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 represented the smallest share.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Brazil
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 had significantly higher
water
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 consumption compared to
Congo
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 in 2000. Looking at the data in more detail,
water
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 used for agricultural purposes was approximately 500 cubic
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 at the start of the period. It steadily increased to 1,000 cubic
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 by 1950,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a sharp rise to 3,000 cubic
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 by 2000. Industrial and domestic
water
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use
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 both started near zero cubic
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
. By 1950, they had increased slightly. Industrial
use
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then
Linking Words
 surged rapidly, exceeding 1,000 cubic
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 by 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
 domestic
use
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 grew more gradually to about 100 cubic
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
. Regarding the countries,
Brazil
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 led in all indicators. Its population was 176 million, compared to just 5.2 million in
Congo
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. The irrigated land area in
Brazil
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 was 26,500 square
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kilometers
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kilometres
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, vastly larger than
Congo
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’s 100 square
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kilometers
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kilometres
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
water
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 consumption per capita was much higher in
Brazil
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, at 359 cubic meters,
while
Linking Words
 in
Congo
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 it was only 8 cubic meters.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, brazil, congo, kilometers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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