IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some organizations believe that their employee should dress smartly. Others value quality above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

These days, Looking for a job is essential for the individual. Some
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 think about appearance rather than quality of work for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recruitment, but
on the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competency is the most needed. In a certain condition, I agree with the best look of the team but the skills are vital for supporting the organization. The following essay will
further
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 elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
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 point of view.
Firstly
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, There is an argument that looking good smartly has more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 in terms of work ethic. There are some works that need the best form to support the project.
For example
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, if we go to the bank, some front desk
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 dress up to serve the customer.
This
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 action is the procedure of their services. And
also
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 for the salesman or saleswoman must cloth properly in order to
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
entice
 the buyer.
On the other hand
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, the quality inside is more
beyond
Change preposition
than
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 the outside. Some
grups
Correct your spelling
groups
 are looking for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 person who
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the ability to solve the problem.
Therefore
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, they recruit some potential
workman
Fix the agreement mistake
workmen
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 to comply
the
Change preposition
with the
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 standard.
For instance
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, if you are looking for
the
Correct article usage
an
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 auditor, you must find
the
Correct article usage
a
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 guy who graduated from
accounting
Correct article usage
an accounting
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 major. What’s
more
Add a comma
more,
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 they must know how to make a basic financial statement.
As a result
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, many
enrollment
Change to a plural noun
enrollments
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 take the requirements first above the look. In conclusion, to gain the goals
in
Change preposition
of
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 the organization, we must take the right person in the right place. I believe
this
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 is the most effective way to overcome the
obsctacle
Correct your spelling
obstacle
obstacles
. Personally, I think if the employee has the capability to understand the job, they will suit
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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 to dress smartly.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use more examples to support your points.
task achievement
Add a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your key points.
task achievement
You have shown an understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are clearly separated.
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