The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

there is no doubt that these days governments are putting money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
art
Use synonyms
like
music
Use synonyms
and theatre is a waste of resources, the question is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
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more money on public
services
Use synonyms
? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I'm going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. in terms of advantages
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
can make
life
Use synonyms
more fun and enjoyable and
art
Use synonyms
definitely can be helpful and making
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
look more beautiful by putting a museum or designing the streets, and theatre
also
Linking Words
can be very useful
people
Use synonyms
can watch movies and shows at big movie theaters to illustrates. When
people
Use synonyms
are bored by only eating and drinking they can
also
Linking Words
do something else like visiting museums from arts around the world
in other words
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
will love to go and enjoy a day in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ancient
musem
Correct your spelling
museum
and see historical figures, that's why many individuals may not disagree that arts and
music
Use synonyms
are waste of money.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it has more disadvantages on the financial system.
firstly
Linking Words
it will cost a lot to build
musems
Correct your spelling
museums
or big
theatre
Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
show examples
and it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the government significantly by making them not
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
on the
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
important things like education and health care and of course public
services
Use synonyms
secondly
Linking Words
it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the citizens and not letting them live a good
life
Use synonyms
and it will affect facilities because many
people
Use synonyms
don't care about
Use synonyms
art
Add an article
the art
show examples
they need hospitals health care and
services
Use synonyms
that can make
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
Use synonyms
easier. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
although
Linking Words
arts and
music
Use synonyms
may be fun and interesting and make
people
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
a lot of new activities
therefore
Linking Words
I believe governments should focus on public
services
Use synonyms
and making
life
Use synonyms
better.

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coherence
Make sure your ideas are clearly linked. Use more connectors to help the flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and present your view well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • investment
  • art
  • music
  • theatre
  • waste
  • money
  • public service
  • agree
  • disagree
  • economy
  • jobs
  • tourists
  • revenue
  • culture
  • society
  • mental health
  • happiness
  • important
  • support
  • educate
  • social issues
  • valuable
  • long-term
  • change
What to do next:
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