IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

The
lost
Replace the word
loss
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 of
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 variety like dinosaurs is a natural phenomenon. We as a human no chance to stop
this
Linking Words
 incident.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is true that extinction can be
natural
Add an article
a natural
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 part of evolution, many modern
extiction
Correct your spelling
extinction
extinctions
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
 by human actions rather than natural processes.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of animal
species
Use synonyms
 is a natural process. Mother
nature
Use synonyms
 is the only thing which will never
be control
Change the verb form
be controlled
show examples
 by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. It is done by
nature
Use synonyms
 for the evolution of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 through variation, inheritance,
natural
Correct word choice
and natural
show examples
 selection.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
species
Use synonyms
adapts
Correct subject-verb agreement
adapt
show examples
 to their environments in
such
Linking Words
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 that
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 their
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
survival
Change preposition
of survival
show examples
,
reproduction
Correct word choice
and reproduction
show examples
. we do not have
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
 to change or stop extinction from happening.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2010, in India
sparrow
Fix the agreement mistake
sparrows
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of their
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
due to
Linking Words
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
 harmed
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
through
large
Add an article
the large
a large
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and mobile towers. If we try to interfere
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it,
nature
Use synonyms
 will not balance the evolutionary part of
life
Use synonyms
.
Population
Add an article
The population
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 of the
species
Use synonyms
 will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase day by day until the balance
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
 by
nature
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would create
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 unintended consequences on
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
show examples
. If we preserve every
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 will occupy more space and resources. There will be
fight
Correct article usage
a fight
show examples
 among living
life
Use synonyms
 for food and area for their survival.
Also
Linking Words
, It could have
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 impact on human
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the extiction
show examples
extiction
Correct your spelling
extinction
 of animal
species
Use synonyms
 has to take place by natural process. Humans should not even touch the small part
that
Change preposition
of that
show examples
 process
otherwise
Linking Words
 they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to be ready to face big
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main idea in the introduction. A stronger thesis statement will help guide your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to make your ideas easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more examples and details to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
content
The essay touches on an interesting topic and shows a clear agreement with the idea of natural extinction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: