In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Buying a
home
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is a primary need and
also
Linking Words
a priority for some
people
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. In a certain condition,
people
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are not able to afford
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home
Add an article
a home
the home
show examples
and choose to rent a
house
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. In my opinion, I believe that renting is the most appropriate way in order to make our
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
more controlled rather than forcing
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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get a
home
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without enough income. In developing countries, most families put owning a
home
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as their number one target of getting
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
or income. In Indonesia,
for example
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, there are many
people
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lending money from
Bank
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banks
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because they
thought
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think
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it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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be much better to pay
debt
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the debt
a debt
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for
dozens
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dozens of
show examples
years rather than
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
money monthly for renting
an
Correct article usage
apply
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accommodation.
According to
Linking Words
statistics, affording a
home
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requires multiple times of
people
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’s salary in
this
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country, which
seems
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
impossible to buy a
house
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in just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
years. Meanwhile,
bank
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banks
show examples
will demand
people
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who
lent
Wrong verb form
lend
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to pay high interest for finishing the debt even in a
long-time
Correct your spelling
long time
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period. Renting a
house
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is an alternative way to stay in a
house
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in tackling
this
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issue.
Moreover
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, there are a lot of owners
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a complete facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
complete facilities
a complete facility
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
rented houses
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
affordable prices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is possible for those who have still low income to save money more to buy their own
house
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in the future. From my perspective, it will be easier
for handling
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to handle
show examples
financial stability
to save
Change preposition
by saving
show examples
for
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
period of time than paying
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high interest to
Add an article
the bank
show examples
bank
Fix the agreement mistake
banks
show examples
due to
Linking Words
debt. To be able to have an accommodation to live is
people
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’s consideration and determination, followed by their own priority towards their way of life. I believe that renting is the best decision to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
in order to
managing
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manage
show examples
family
econcomy
Correct your spelling
economy
economic
stability even buying is a good option for those who want to rapidly own a
home
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your main points more clearly and make sure to connect them back to your thesis throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction introduces the topic clearly and your conclusion summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion about renting versus owning a home.
task achievement
You discussed how renting can be financially beneficial for people in developing countries.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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