IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society

The question of whether
teachers
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 should take on the responsibility of teaching ethics and moral views,
in addition
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 to academic subjects, is a topic of ongoing debate.
While
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 some people that the primary
role
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 of
teachers
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 is to focus strictly on
academis
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academic
academics
 instruction, others believe that moral
education
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 should
also
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 be an integral part of their
role
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. On one hand, proponents of a purely academic approach argue that
teachers
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 are trained professionals in specific subject areas, not moral guardians. They believe that ethical behaviour and understanding of right and wrong are values that should be taught primarily at home, where children are more influenced by their family's culture, traditions, and personal beliefs.
According to
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this
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 view, adding the responsibility of moral
education
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 to a
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teachers
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teacher's
show examples
role
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 may overburden them and distract
from
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them from
show examples
 their
mrimary
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primary
 task of delivering academic knowledge.
On the other hand
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, many argue that schools are a fundamental part of a child's social development
amd
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and
 that
reacher
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teachers
show examples
 naturally play an influential
role
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 in shaping behaviour. Since the
students
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apend
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spend
 a significant portion of their day at school, it becomes a key environment for learning not only facts but
also
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 interpersonal skills, empathy, respect and discipline.
Teachers
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,
therefore
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, are in a unique position to model and reinforce ethical behaviour in daily classroom interactions, discussions, and discussion-making.
This
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 can be particularly important for
students
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 who
maybe
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may
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 not receive consistent moral guidance at home. In my opinion,
while
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 the primary function of
teachers
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 should remain academic instruction , they should
also
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 contribute to the moral development of
students
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. Integrating basic moral
education
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 into classroom practices, without replacing parental responsibilities
pr
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or
 academic priorities, can help produce more responsible and thoughtful individuals. In conclusion,
although
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 the core responsibility of
teachers
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 lies in academic introduction, their
role
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 in guiding
students
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 ethically should not be overlooked. A balanced approach that combines both can lead to more holistic
education
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.

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task response
Try to clearly state your position in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point. Use topic sentences to help guide the reader.
task response
Add specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and clearer.
task response
You present both sides of the argument, which is good for showing a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, bringing the essay together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Sustainable development
  • Resource depletion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Economic growth
  • Social stability
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Living standards
  • Cultural diversity
  • Economic opportunities
  • Global crisis
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