IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortages of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that thinking about the future aspect of your choices is something that
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
 essential.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held
belfie
Correct your spelling
belief
show examples
 that accepting a
situation
Use synonyms
 that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money and
unstitfay
Correct article usage
an unstitfay
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 job is
good
Add an article
a good
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 thing. There is
also
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 an argument that opposite
this
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 idea by saying we need to find ways to improve the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
.
This
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 essay will
analyses
Replace the word
analyse
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this
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 topic from both points of view and
than
Replace the word
then
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 I will express my opinion on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
believe
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believes
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 is better to accept a difficult
situation
Use synonyms
 rather
staying
Wrong verb form
than stay
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 at home.
In other words
Linking Words
, a member of the family staying in the house will
cues
Correct your spelling
cause
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 problems because he will feel like
filer
Correct article usage
a filer
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 in the societies.
In addition
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, any
sores
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source
show examples
 of money will
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
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 something good
to
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for
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 poor families.
For example
Linking Words
, 100, yen will benefit a lot of people in Japan.
on the other hand
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, most of the humans in the world need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improvement that will change their lives. It is possible to say that, any
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 in the world has steps that
gets
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get
show examples
 you from
a
Correct determiner usage
one
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 level to another level , so knowing
steps
Correct article usage
the steps
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 and the
reqwrilment
Correct your spelling
requirements
 will help to reach a good
situation
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. In conclusion, There are no easy
answer
Fix the agreement mistake
answers
show examples
 to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that commonly in
garnal
Correct your spelling
carnal
 need to find ways to improve lives, and
turning
Wrong verb form
turn
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 a bad
situation
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a better one.
Moreover
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, do not accept something that you consider is low level for you.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Make sure to have separate paragraphs for each main point and clearly state your opinion at the end.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples and details to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger.
language accuracy
Check your grammar and spelling. There are many mistakes that can confuse the reader and make it hard to understand your points.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion essays.
task achievement
You attempted to express your opinion in the conclusion, which is important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pragmatic approach
  • mental peace
  • stoic attitude
  • proactive measures
  • personal growth
  • financial management
  • sense of accomplishment
  • resignation
  • helplessness
  • stress and burnout
  • fatalism
  • collective well-being
  • self-determination
What to do next:
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