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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart reveals the distribution of
water
Use synonyms
 usage, in terms of agriculture, domestic and industry, on a worldwide scale.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the below bar chart shows that in each country, including China, India, New Zealand and
Canada
Use synonyms
, in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, though the majority of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is directed toward agricultural purposes from a worldwide perspective, people in
Canada
Use synonyms
 are more likely to utilize
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial ways. Specifically, among these three reasons for using
water
Use synonyms
, farming accounted for 70%, followed by 22% (domestic
use
Use synonyms
) and 8% (industrial
use
Use synonyms
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, focusing on each nation, a significant difference regarding the aims of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 becomes more obvious.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China and India,
water
Use synonyms
 is mainly used for farming because the percentages of agricultural usage are 69% and 92% in the same order.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Canada
Use synonyms
, the trend is remarkably distinct
such
Linking Words
 that 80% of the entire
water
Use synonyms
 is applied for the industries and only 8% of them is directed for farming.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most balanced distribution is recorded in New Zealand, where the percentages are 44% (agriculture), 46% (domestic) and 10% (industry). Meanwhile, in comparison,
whereas
Linking Words
 the trends of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in China and India are similar to that of the whole world, that in
Canada
Use synonyms
 is completely far from the global tendency.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, canada, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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