The use of celluar phone by children is a growing concern these days. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this trend and will eloborate whether it is a positive or negative for them.

The use of

celluar

Correct your spelling

cell

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

by children is a growing concern these days.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

trend and will

eloborate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

whether

Change preposition

on whether

show examples

it is a positive or negative for them. The first reason for

this

Linking Words

addiction is

due to

Linking Words

the involvement of technology in

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system. Schools are

depended

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

on various applications

such

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

and Google

mail

Capitalize word

Mail

show examples

. They are sharing

home work

Correct your spelling

homework

show examples

using these apps, to access their work kids are using cell phones daily.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

avaliabilty

Correct your spelling

availability

of entertainment sources

also

Linking Words

insisting

Wrong verb form

insists

show examples

young ones

Remove the particle

apply

show examples

have a phone.

For example

Linking Words

, Facebook, and Instagram. Youth can not only share images and videos but

also

Linking Words

can find new

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

and communicate with them. Which results in spending hours on electronic devices.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has some positive aspects too. It can help

youngs

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

to enhance their cognitive skills. There are various websites which allow users to solve difficult puzzles and mathematical problems which can

enhace

Correct your spelling

enhance

the learning ability of

schoolors

Correct your spelling

schoolers

Additionally

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

a great way to showcase skills like dancing, singing and cooking. They can viral with their content

while

Linking Words

using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

This

Linking Words

means, from

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

age

Add a comma

age,

show examples

they can boost confidence to perform in public.

However

Linking Words

, we can not deny the negative side.

Highly

Change the word

High

show examples

dependance

Correct your spelling

dependence

dependent

on devices can lead to adverse health issues. It can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eyesight.

Also

Linking Words

, spending excessive time can

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in poor academic performance. In conclusion,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

utilising hours on

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

is a topic of concern.

This

Linking Words

might be

due to

Linking Words

the use of phones by schools in academics, and options to get entertainment easily.

While

Linking Words

there are many merits like development of cognitive ability and promotion of skills

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we can not deny the demerits like poor eyesight and studies results.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there should be a balance to spend time on devices.

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your topic.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, such as 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion'.

task achievement

Provide more examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.

task achievement

Make sure to check your grammar and spelling. Some words were misspelled, such as 'elaborate' and 'availability'.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.

task achievement

You mentioned both sides of the argument, which is a good way to show a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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The use of celluar phone by children is a growing concern these days. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this trend and will eloborate whether it is a positive or negative for them.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that on order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environment pollution. To what extent that you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important aim of science would be improve people's life.What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The only way to reduce drug is to legalise the substances and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.