IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first pies chart illustate the percentage of both Australia and New zealand in consuming through oversea and local websites. While another table depict the reason for just online shopping in the year 2012.

The first pies chart illustate the percentage of both Australia and New zealand in consuming through oversea and local websites. While another table depict the reason for just online shopping in the year 2012.
The first pies chart
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrates
illustrate
 the percentage of
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 and New
Use synonyms
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consuming through
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 and local websites.
While
Linking Words
 another table
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 the
reason
Use synonyms
 for just online shopping in the year 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 in
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people choose
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas websites
show examples
website
Use synonyms
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opposite trend in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
both
Use synonyms
 countries, the
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lower prices than
in store
Add a hyphen
in-store
show examples
 for shopping online
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up the majority. Regarding to
pies
Change the noun form
pie
show examples
 chart where people using
Use synonyms
both
Add an article
the both
show examples
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 and local
Use synonyms
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 in 2
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 were just a minor
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
, 10% for
Australia
Use synonyms
 and 7% for
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
proprtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
Add an article
the customer
a customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 from
Australia
Use synonyms
 prefer using
Overseas
Correct article usage
an Overseas
show examples
website
Use synonyms
, making it up
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65%, there was just exactly 50% in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. The same trend can be seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
website
Use synonyms
 shopping, the customer
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 New
Use synonyms
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 43% which was nearly double of its in
Australia
Use synonyms
. Taking a look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the remaining stable where the reasons for lower prices than
in store
Add a hyphen
in-store
show examples
stood out among others at around 52% in
both
Use synonyms
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Like wise
Change preposition
Wise
show examples
 the
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
also
Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a small disparity between
both
Use synonyms
 countries, with roughly 30% and
newzealand
Change the capitalization
Newzealand
show examples
 was higher. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Beter
Change noun form
Beter's
show examples
 range of productive reasons,
while
Linking Words
 there was accounted for a small proportion
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
 7 times more than the other
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 which
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 2% in
both
Use synonyms
 countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words both, australia, zealand, reason, website with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depict" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: