IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowdays many people go shopping for leisure, What are the advantages and disadvantages for individuals and society? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days people go
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping mostly in their leisure
time
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.Some say it's a bad habit and others
says
Change the verb form
say
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 it's a good way to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, From my own personal perspective , I disagree strongly with the idea of wasting your
time
Use synonyms
 and money on buying
things
Use synonyms
doesn'
Wrong verb form
that don't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 even benefit you at your own home.
However
Linking Words
 , It is not completely true that shopping in most of your free
time
Use synonyms
 is bad.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, Shopping addiction can lead you to significant money loss. People nowadays
perefer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 spending money on useless
things
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 , It might seem useless and irresponsible, But helps a lot
reducing
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in reducing
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 stress and clears your mind
while
Linking Words
 walking around observing many
things
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 you haven'
t
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 seen before .
Instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
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thinking about stressful
things
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 only
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 feeling pressured and lost. Wandering around a mall or place. A place
you
Rephrase
where you
show examples
 can find new and interesting stuff.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I still strongly believe shopping isn'
t
Use synonyms
 the right way to regulate and clear your thoughts.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I'm not saying you should deprive yourself
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 enjoying shopping in your free
time
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 . You try sports , Reading books , watching television, Hanging out with friends or close family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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,
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 I get to say
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 a bad habit as long as you control it and make sure not to turn it
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 an obsession you can'
t
Use synonyms
 defeat .

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task response
Make your introduction clearer by stating your main idea directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas better.
task response
Provide specific examples to support your points more clearly.
task response
You show your opinion clearly: you disagree with excessive shopping.
task response
You have some good ideas about stress relief through shopping.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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