IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.

Nowadays, shorter working
Use synonyms
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been applied in many countries, reflecting some urgencies. With these circumstances, I firmly believe that
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 practice should be
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
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 by more countries
due to
Linking Words
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 and workers' personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
 considerations. 
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better
quality
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 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 can be achieved by applying shorter working
week
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, as the
pollution
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 rate will
be decreases
Change the verb form
be decreased
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. In some big cities, especially the business district, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
are riding
Wrong verb form
ride
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 their private vehicles to go
work
Change preposition
to work
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, and some of them are
also
Linking Words
used
Wrong verb form
using
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public transport.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
pollution
Use synonyms
 level
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very high
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of vehicles
in
Change preposition
on
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 the road, decreasing the air
quality
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. In
respond
Replace the word
response
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 to that, by reducing working
days
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 from five to four
days
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in
Change preposition
apply
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a
week
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, the existing
pollution
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 will decrease, as more people
are stay
Change the verb form
are staying
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 at home.
Secondly
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, four working
days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 can increase
their
Change the word
the
show examples
quality
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 of both
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
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 and professional
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. As the working
days
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 become shorter, professionals can spend more time with their families at home.
For example
Linking Words
, they can
spending
Change the verb form
spend
be spending
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 time for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner with their partner or
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
show examples
 their kids happy by playing together. In return their happiness level will increase and they have no issue with mental health.
Subsequently
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, a good personal
life
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 will affect their performance at work, ensuring workers' readiness to give their
bests
Correct your spelling
best
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. In conclusion, the idea to shorten working weeks
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 various benefits, ranging from reducing
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the air
as well as
Linking Words
 increasing the
quality
Use synonyms
 of workers' personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 practice can be adopted by many governments in their countries.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells what you will discuss in that paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better using linking words like 'however', 'moreover' or 'for example'.
task achievement
Add more details or examples to support your points. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are good, but you can make sure they clearly state your main points. This will help your essay have a stronger focus.
positive
You have a clear opinion about the topic and express it well in the introduction.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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