IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should https://iotcdn.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/2023-01/task1_5.png

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should https://iotcdn.oss-ap-southeast-1.aliyuncs.com/2023-01/task1_5.png
The bar charts illustrate some new
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 in relation to the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of individuals born in
Australia
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 and those who were
birthed
Verb problem
born
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 out of
Australia
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 residing in three different settings (urban, rural, and town) between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 born in
Australia
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 staying in the
cities
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 increased over the given period,
while
Linking Words
 it decreased for those born in and outside
Australia
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 living in rural areas.
aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the
cities
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 had the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of habitants in both years. Regarding habitants born in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of those living in the
cities
Use synonyms
 was about 50% in 1995,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose moderately by 15% in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 staying in rural areas plummeted from 30% in 1995 to almost
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of its initial value in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
people
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 staying in towns slightly dropped from 20% to around 18% in 1995 and 2010, respectively. With regards to the
people
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 born outside
Australia
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, the
percentage
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 of those residing in both
cities
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 (60%) and towns (10%) remained unchanged in both years,
whereas
Linking Words
 for those living in the rural areas significantly decreased from 40% in 1995 to
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
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 of its original figure in 2000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, australia, people, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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