Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible. Discuss both views and give you opinion?

The overconsumption of
sugar
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must be controlled to prevent its harmful effects on the body. Some
people
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believe that it is the responsibility of the
government
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to regulate
sugar
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in the diet, owing to its great impact on the general public
while
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, others are of the opinion that
people
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themselves must take the initiative to control their
sugar
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intake. I believe that
,
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apply
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irrespective of their independent roles, there must be a collaborative effort from both sides to see good results. On the one hand, the
government
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have the authority to influence public behaviour on a large scale. By enacting laws and
polices
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policies
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, they can compel industries and
people
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alike to adopt
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
practices.
For instance
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, upon realizing the cause of obesity was
due to
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sugar
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intake, the Indian
government
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introduced regulations requiring soft-drink
maunfacturers
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manufacturers
produce
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to produce
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zero-
sugar
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alternatives.
However
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,
often
Rephrase
apply
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such
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policies passed by the
government
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are often not strict enough as
it
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they
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contains
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contain
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loopholes that
people
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find ways to dodge
them
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apply
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.
On the other hand
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,
individuals
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bear the ultimate responsibility to manage their diet. Regardless of the incentives or restrictions provided by the authorities, only
people
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can control their habits and resist cravings .
Nevertheless
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, the addictive nature of
sugar
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can make it
difficiult
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difficult
for some to reduce their intake and stabilise their blood
sugar
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levels.
For instance
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,
Coca-cola
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Coca-Cola
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contains significantly more
sugar
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than any other fizzy
drinks
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drink
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, and some
people
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who consume it regularly might find it difficult to eliminate
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
from their routine.
Therefore
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, if the
government
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were to introduce strict laws, it could force
individuals
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to bring a change, fostering a collaborative approach. In conclusion,
while
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the
government
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wields the power to regulate the
sugar
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contents
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content
show examples
in
individuals
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' diets by passing laws, others argue that
individuals
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must take charge of their own
sugar
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consumption . Ultimately, only if stricter
law
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laws
show examples
could be implemented and the
people
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were to comply with them, the intended outcomes are far more likely to be achieved.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of ideas between sentences; adding linking words can help.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Good effort in discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well.
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