IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

working weeks should be shorter and workers should have longer weekends do you agree

have a longer weekend.
While
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 it is a commonly held
to
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apply
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belief that employees must have fewer working days and they deserve an extra weekend. there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that employees definitely need
a
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apply
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longer weekends.
To begin
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 with, studies show that working a few
hours
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 can actually boost productivity.
In other words
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, when working for a small number of
hours
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 can help to get new ideas and be creative.
In addition
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, When
people
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 are well-rested, they tend to focus better, make fewer mistakes, and complete tasks faster.
For example
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, men in China who work 5
hours
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 and sleep 12
hours
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 are most likely to be more creative and get things done. Another point to consider, overworking can cause stress
and
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apply
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mental issues and other health problems. it is
also
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 possible to say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more
hours
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 work can actually affect your mental health.
Moreover
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, a shorter workweek allows time for exercise, sleep, hobbies, and social activities, which all contribute to
overall
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 well-being.
For instance
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,
people
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 who exercise more often
they
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apply
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seem to be more healthier than the
people
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 who don't work out. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that many employees absolutely deserve an extra day off.

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task response
Your essay presents some good ideas, but try to develop them more clearly. This means adding more details or examples to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to help connect your ideas and make your essay easier to follow.
task response
You have a clear opinion, and your ideas about productivity and well-being are relevant to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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