IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

With the increasing demand for energy such as oil and gas, people start to look for their sources in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Exploring remote and untouched places for
energy
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 sources like oil and gas presents both advantages and disadvantages. First of all, using remote and untouched places can increase the
energy
Use synonyms
 supply. Accessing resources can boost the
overall
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energy
Use synonyms
 supply, helping to meet growing demands and reduce dependence on existing sources.
Moreover
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, developing these resources can lead to economic growth in the regions where they are found and create jobs.
However
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, it
also
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 leads to more efficient and environmentally friendly methods.
Secondly
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, if we look at its demerits, it impacts the environment. These areas are ecologically sensitive, and resource extraction can lead to habitat destruction, pollution, and disruption of the local ecosystem. On the other side,
burining
Correct your spelling
burning
 fossil fuels like oil and gas contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate change. And
this
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 can
also
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 the traditional lifestyle
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 cultures of the communities. In conclusion, Remote
energy
Use synonyms
 sources are beneficial for short-term use, which means,
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
are outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the advantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make your conclusion clearer and more precise.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You discussed both advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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