In many countries, an increase in crime rate has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years , the
crime
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rate
have
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has
show examples
risen
sigificantly
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significantly
in
lot
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a lot
show examples
of countries there was a doubt that it was because of the violent images on the
ditgital
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digital
and
electroic
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electronic
divaces
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devices
divorces
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
slightly agree with
this
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statement but
a
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I
show examples
think there is another major that
cause
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causes
show examples
this
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problem . In
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
easy
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easy,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will give my opinion
and
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apply
show examples
explain more
also
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give examples. First of all ,
i
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I
show examples
believe that the main cause
in
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of
show examples
the high
percenntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
in
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of
show examples
crimes
which it
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apply
show examples
is
upiqotis
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an upiqotis
show examples
problem that we are facing all of it because of
the
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apply
show examples
electronic divaces . In fact , you might
ot
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not
be able to control the
childre
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children
to do not
wach
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watch
violence staff because it is all over the
enternet
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internet
so when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
play a combat game and
which
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watch
show examples
a
harrible
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horrible
video that may give them
a
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the
show examples
motivation to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
a
crime
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even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
just
wach
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watched
a film
tohat
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that
opersdet a
crimnal
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criminal
and the way of doing
a
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apply
show examples
illegal things .
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
due to
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the violent bad
aflunser
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aflutter
in social
media
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media,
show examples
the
crime
Use synonyms
ratio
have
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has
show examples
been soured because of the motivation they provided.
In addition
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,
i
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I
show examples
believe that the increase in
crime
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is because of the violence in modern
divacss
Correct your spelling
society
that
affect
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affects
show examples
the
youth
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young
show examples
brain and causes a severe problem like anger
issue
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issues
show examples
not only
annger
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anger
issues but
also
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they can not control
them self
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themself
themselves
show examples
.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they will not see the wrong thing because
the
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apply
show examples
social media has shown
that is
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normel
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normal
and there is not a csupcnuqes
of
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for
show examples
doing
this
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. In conclusion ,
i
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I
show examples
believe that that it is true the violent
bassed
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based
show examples
in the
nnew
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new
technology has a big
ampact
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impact
but we can not just blame them the
parennts
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parents
should be
rospancable
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responsible
and look after
thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids
also
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it may be the
country
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country's
show examples
falut
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fault
they should
banded
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band
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement is clear and states your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Use clearer examples to support your points. This will help your ideas seem stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling errors and grammar mistakes. This will improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You showed a clear opinion in your writing and explained it in your paragraphs.
task achievement
You made relevant points about the effects of violent images on youth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • psychological theories
  • Bandura's Social Learning Theory
  • conclusive scientific evidence
  • correlation
  • multi-factorial
  • socio-economic status
  • mental health
  • sole cause
  • outlet for aggression
  • teamwork
  • strategic thinking
  • counter-studies
  • awareness
  • violent media
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