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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram details the process of making clothes from plastic bottles. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram details the process of making clothes from plastic bottles. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The illustration demonstrates how to manufacture
clothes
Use synonyms
 through
plastic
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the whole process comprised of 13 steps which commences with recycling
plastic
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 to deliver to the factories
then
Linking Words
 undergoes multiple steps and
finalize
Correct subject-verb agreement
finalizes
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 with producing new
clothes
Use synonyms
. The initial
phrase
Correct your spelling
phase
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 focuses on preparing raw material before being strained. The procedure begins when
plastic
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
 are collected and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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transported to factories. At there, these
bottles
Use synonyms
 are classified in order to help the cutting stage to operate more efficiently.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
cuting
Correct your spelling
cutting
plastic
Use synonyms
bottles
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 delivered to the washing machine before being boiled following dried for 10 hours. Producing recycled
clothes
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 is the focus of the latter steps in the sequence. After boiling, the boiled
plastic
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 is strained and transformed into yarns. Following that, these yarns are woven by a special machine which
changed
Wrong verb form
changes
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 them into fabrics.
Finally
Linking Words
, the fabric is
then
Linking Words
 rolled and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made into
clothes
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words clothes, plastic, bottles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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