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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
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Recently, there has been a noticeable decline in the number of
students
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 opting for
science
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-related courses in different countries. Numerous factors may be influencing
this
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 trend.
For instance
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,
science
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subjects
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 tend to be inherently more challenging than arts and social
science
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subjects
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due to
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 their intricate nature and complex concepts.
Furthermore
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, the exorbitant costs associated with scientific training, encompassing expensive materials
such
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 as chemicals, microscopes, and machinery, contribute to the deterrent effect on prospective
science
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 scholars.
Subjects
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 like chemistry, biology, and physics require a substantial investment of time and effort for
students
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 to grasp the vast amount of information, memorize intricate details, and truly understand complex theories. The demands associated with these
subjects
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 might dissuade many
students
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 from dedicating the considerable time required for their study.
This
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,
coupled with
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 the financial burden associated with training, presents a formidable barrier to entry into the scientific field. The consequences of the declining number of
students
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 pursuing scientific courses in universities extend beyond the academic sphere. It directly translates to a reduction in the scientific workforce, impeding the pace of scientific advancement. In a world where
science
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 plays a pivotal role in providing solutions to societal problems, a shortage of scientists could significantly hinder societal growth. In conclusion, the recent decrease in
students
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 choosing
science
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-related courses can be attributed to the challenges and costs associated with scientific education. The ramifications of
this
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 trend may result in a shortage of skilled scientists and hinder technological advancement, thereby impeding societal development. It is imperative for educational institutions and policymakers to address these challenges to encourage more
students
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 to pursue
science
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-related careers for the benefit of society at large.
Submitted by lolaadeoje on

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Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. While you mention the complexity and cost associated with science courses, it would be more effective to illustrate these points with clear, concrete examples or data.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, try to enhance it by creating even stronger links between paragraphs and using a wider range of cohesive devices. This will improve the flow and clarity of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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