IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

nowaday, some people like eat fast food, do not do exercise. do you think is advantage or disadvantage?why?

Some people in the 4,0 era prefer eating fast food
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 doing exercise. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it is really unhealthy for our health. Fast food has a lot of calories
such
Linking Words
 as
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
, and pizza,...If we only eat fast food, we will not have a beautiful frame.
For example
Linking Words
, Obesity is popular in the US
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and UK. Because they keen on
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 foodstuff that fries on oil pot. That means it can
crease
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 significant
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 that have cancer, Obesity. The doctor always
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
 to their patient about how much their frame loves them. To easily understand, if you load bread that has unhealthy viruses, your build helps you increase them. Exercise
after you have a good meal
Add the comma(s)
, after you have a good meal,
show examples
 can help your chassis
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
metabolism fast.
That is
Linking Words
 my opinion about
this
Linking Words
 problem, prefer eating is not wrong, but if loaded it, it was becoming your redundant energy. conclusion, blend eating and doing exercise to have good health.

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task achievement
Add more examples and details to support your points. For instance, you could explain how fast food affects health in more depth and give specific examples of dangers.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and simple connections between your ideas. Try to use linking words like 'first', 'next', and 'finally' to show the order of your thoughts.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your grammar and spelling. For example, 'i' should be 'I', and 'fries on oil pot' could be clearer as 'fried in oil'.
task achievement
You have shared your opinion clearly, which is important in an essay.
task achievement
The use of examples like obesity in the US and UK shows some understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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