IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

It is widely known that
science
Use synonyms
 has been improving our life quality
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways
such
Linking Words
 as health, education, protection, communication, etc.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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controversial thing that whether
science
Use synonyms
 should improve
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
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 or
science
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 should improve itself by using some methods. As far as I am concerned,
science
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 should improve
people
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's
lives
Use synonyms
 not because of
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s
lives
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 but because of itself. First of all,
science
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 should develop something that has benefits for
people
Use synonyms
, because to start
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new research about
science
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, you need money and some permission. Sad but true, societies and governments do not allow you and do not give money to investigate or discover something, because these things cannot influence their
lives
Use synonyms
 directly or cannot be earned money immediately.
Hence
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, scientists must maintain their major research
while
Linking Words
 they are doing something that improves societies’
lives
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. Against
this
Linking Words
 idea, some
people
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 still believe that
science
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 should develop itself and should not
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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 about what other
people
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 think and what other
people
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 want.
However
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is impossible because
science
Use synonyms
 has been maintaining its existence from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 to today to improve
Use synonyms
people
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’s
lives
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, to save them, and to provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
Thus
Linking Words
,
science
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 and society need each other to exist.
To sum up
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,
science
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 will disappear without
people
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 and their needs. To find a way to run and to find funds to consume,
science
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 must follow
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s requirements and take action
according to
Linking Words
 them.

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task achievement
Make your position clearer in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words to help the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Give specific examples to support your points better.
task achievement
The essay addresses an important question about science and people's lives.
coherence and cohesion
You have made good points about the relationship between science and society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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