IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

With the development of the social media more and more of youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation.

The social
Correct article usage
Social
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 media has become more affordable to all generations including
children
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 too,many
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 are able to access the
internet
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 at any
time
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,
otherwise
Linking Words
,that can be the worst thing these days,
on the other hand
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,it might lead to the biggest
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as depression,because a lot of families have no idea about what their sons or daughters are doing with their devices. Spending too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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time
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to scroll
Change the verb form
scrolling
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 videos on tik tok
for example
Linking Words
instead
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 of talking to their
colleuges
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 or their family is not good for their mental health,
also
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can cause
cognative
Correct your spelling
cognitive
 issues,
above all
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,parents should regulate the
time
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to
Change preposition
apply
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their
children
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,and put
specific
Add an article
a specific
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schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
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 to make a safe environment for them. From my own
experience
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experience,
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 I see that talking to
communites
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communities
 and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 a significant amount of
time
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 with them can help you reduce the
stressness
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stresses
,
in addition
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,that can give you a big potential to handle problems,so they need to keep themselves far away from the
internet
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 and spend their
time
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 learning
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
unnecessary
 things,by the way,the important role
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
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 to the parents
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they are the main
resoun
Correct your spelling
reason
 to make their
children
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 better and give them a safe life.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the
internet
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 is growing fast,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 have to know
is
Correct word choice
if is
show examples
 that
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for their kids or not,
however
Linking Words
,they should tell their
children
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also
Linking Words
 about what they should do or watch on the
internet
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 to make a good generation worldwide.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly state the problem and the solutions you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as they can make it harder to understand your message.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples of how parents can help their children with internet use.
content
You bring attention to important issues such as mental health and parental guidance.
content
You use personal experience, which adds a personal touch to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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