IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

more people decided to have children in their later age in the past , why? do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantegs ?

there is no doubt that these days people delay having
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 , the question is, do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ? in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I'm going to discuss the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 . in terms of the
nagitive
Correct your spelling
negative
 side , having
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
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 at late age could be hard to raise , the main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 is we become less patient, to illustrate when we get older we do not have the energy to make more effort in anything
in other words
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 raising a
child
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 and takes a lot of energy and time .
however
Linking Words
, maybe be
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
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 a problem in the pregnancy and maybe the
birth
Use synonyms
 of the
child
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 becomes harder ,
firstly
Linking Words
 , our hormones
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not the same as
we
Rephrase
when we
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 were young when we get old
also
Linking Words
 the hormones ,
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 perform at their best job and that could lead to becoming hard on the mother and causing problems to the
child
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 ,
in other words
Linking Words
 , the increase of giving
birth
Use synonyms
 with disable
child
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 will increase ,
for example
Linking Words
 , there were study from Cambridge university who did research on 100 people that married at advanced age 40% per cent of them giving
birth
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 to
child
Use synonyms
 who has a problem in his body . in conclusion , I believe that there are a lot of disadvantages to giving
birth
Use synonyms
 to a
child
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 older age , because of the problems that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 mentioned and some of
themwhich
Correct your spelling
them which
them-which
 are not
ocuerr
Correct your spelling
occur
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me at the moment .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points and keep them consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use clear examples to support your ideas. This will help make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simple transitions between your ideas, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This will help your essay flow better.
positive
You have clearly stated the topic and presented your opinions on it. This shows you understand the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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